A fairytale, yeey!

A giraffe crossed Wall street
but he got run over by a toad
whose name was Bernie.
Bernie was pink and had fur
just like a grandma's cat.
He smelled like pumpkin juice
and shaved his balls with his teeth.
One day Bernie saw this girl Jenny
who was dancing in a manhattan
dance club late at night
and he hid in her purse
'till she got home later that night.
When she went to bed
little Bernie crawled inside
Jenny's foggy pussycat ding-dong-yo.
She woke up but just let it be
'till she eventually got an orgasm.
She screamed out loud
and shat herself two times.
Bernie crawled back out again
and turned into a tomato
which Jenny threw out the window.
Tomato-Bernie survived the fall
but unfortunately got run over by a truck.
Next day a hobo found the squashed Bernie
and took the remains of him as ketchup
for his fried sewer-rat he had caught.
He ate it all but later died
due to food poisoning.

The End.

Iggy the clementine-thieving hamster!

This is my hamster Iggy, named after the legendary - Iggy Pop - of course. He loves clementines and heavy metal.

Love / Hate

LOVE:

• Henry Rollins

 HATE:

• Dave Mustaine

Figure it out yourselves! ;)