For many years I have wondered why metalheads are like they are. I mean, has it ever occurred to anyone else that most metal fans seem to be impossible do deal with in one way or another? It certainly has to me. While I personally don't think there is anything better than metal music, I certainly cannot fucking stand its fans.
I'm 25 years old and I have been a fan of metal music since I was a small kid (metalhead parents ftw), but you know, I've really been it since I was 12 - that's when I really got an interest in music and a the most notable step out of childhood and into teenage angst. Ever since then, for 13 years, I have met countless metalheads through my different schools, friend circles, concerts, and most notably through my old band. Among all those countless metal fans I ever met throughout the years, I can probably count on just one hand how many I could stand being around for more than a minute or two. Don't fucking ask me why that is.
I'm going to make sort of a list of which types of metalheads that I found the most annoying throughout the years so far, just to clarity which type they are and what the fuck the problem is with them.
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1. Emos
Remember these kids? I certainly do, unfortunately. What is fortunate about them though is that they're mostly gone these days! Being 15 in 2005, I was in the middle of the fucking trend when basically everyone was supposed to be a fucking depressed wreck. Since when was it ever "cool" to feel sad and ill. I mean, just that is enough to prove how fucking stupid that movement was.
I lived in a medium size Swedish city at the time where the emo(tional) scene was really blooming. Walking in my school corridors and around town, there were always a lot of emos to be spotted. They even had this fucking kiosk boutique which they always hanged outside. It was fucking annoying seeing their black fringes everywhere, but what was the most annoying thing about them was how fucking poser they were.
Now, I am a person who look at depression seriously, viewing it as an illness which can most certainly be devastating for the subject. It's not a thing to joke around about or to use as a (posed) lifestyle choice. Yet, most of these fucking kids were cutting their arms and shit. I remember briefly befriending a few of the local emos, all of which were rather middle class or upper middle class kids without any troubles whatsoever. They even admitted to me that the arm cutting was just for show - a pose.
I was so fucking angry and disgusted by these morons. I came from a really rough fucking background with alcoholic and abusive parents, no money, often no food, and so on, but I never sat down, whining and cutting my wrists like a wimp. Yet these kids, who had all I had not, were posing as "depressed and suicidal" teens. Kiss my ass. I'm so fucking glad this trend mostly died out. Now we can (easier) tend to the real depressed people who needs the help and attention.
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2. Posers
Maybe a rather obvious choice, but who doesn't hate pose(u)rs, right? At least I do. Now, let's just be clear on this matter: a poser according to me (and this article) is not a glam fan. Sure, a glam fan can and probably will pose before a camera more than a thrash fan would. However, that is not how I view this shit, like "a glam poser in the eyes of a thrasher". No, thinking like that is also posing in a way. Real posing to me is a person who pose as a metal fan, but does not really listen to or like the music in reality.
Throughout the years I've met a through people like this. It's like, "wow dude, you're a metalhead, right? Right?!". I'm just thinking that if they were real metal fans, they would most certainly know it by my hair, band shirts, battle jacket, leather jacket, and other clothing choices. It's just so fucking obvious some people pretend to like the same music as you, and I just wonder why, what's the point of it?
I'm not the kinda guy who cared whether or not you're a metalhead just like me. Most of my friends are not. It's just so fucking unnecessary to pretend that you like or are something you're not, just to impress (or whatever) on someone else.
I knew a guy some years ago who completely lacked any kind of self-respect, as well as respect for others.
This guy was what you call a "real attention whore". He would say, do or pretend being anything just to be accepted by other people (often full friend circles of different stereotypes). If he got into these circles, then he would slowly start putting people "in their places", often pretending being waaay smarter than he actually was. In fact, he was not very educated in the matters he pretended being educated in at all. He could also not take it when you put him in his right place, that is telling him his pretentious act is wrong and correct his claims.
Bottom line of all this is: the particular guy I knew for a while, while not the only poser I've met, was the worst example I've ever met. I honestly think he adapted to around 10 different stereotypes, posing as a fan of each one. In a year, he could go between being a hip-hop fan to being a metalhead to being a rich boy-poser to different political sympathizers, and so on. At the end of the day, the guy always loses his friends over and over. No wonder.
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3. Elitists
The last, worst, and definitely most annoying category of douchebag metal fans I know. I also call them "conservative cunts in metal", because that's exactly what they are. Now, let's clear about this once and for all - by conservative in this sense, I don't mean metal fans with any political affiliation, but with solid conservative opinions of the music. Let me give you an example: people who only listen to "trve metal", or "trve kvlt" and all that shit, and think everything else is "false" or "poseur". Now you think "black metal fans", I suppose, but that's not really the right group of metal fans to target in this matter.
As a fan of pretty much all styles of metal besides nu metal, I have seen the ignorance among fans of all styles. People in metal tend to be fucking closed-minded most of the time. Either they just listen to like thrash or death metal, possibly both sometimes, and dis everything else apart from like Iron Maiden and Judas Priest. An example could be: "Lamb of God is fucking gay", and vice versa. I think you get the drift. I've seen this shit over and over. I mean, I can understand if a metalhead has time enough to spend to hate on Justin Bieber or whatever, but why hate metal within metal?
To me, metal music of all kinds except for nu metal are just to similar to hate on one specific sub genre. I mean, it all comes from the same original stew of likes such as Black Sabbath and Deep Purple, just that they developed over time and came with new generations. For instance, fans of 80's metal has always had a lot of hate to spread on New Wave of American Heavy Metal (2000's metal) bands, and them back on fans of the old origin styles. I just don't fucking get it. How can one like, let's say Pantera, but not like a band like Chimaira then? This fucking posing within metal is ridiculous.
Most of the metal fans I ever met were of this kind. Elitist fucking douchebags. We would discuss bands like Slayer and Danzig and have a great time, then all of a sudden I maybe ask if they like Faith No More and they lose their fucking minds. I mean, it's unbelievable how some people's attitude takes a turn because you mention liking a band that is not "80's, trve, good", or whatever. After that, you are fucking marked by them as an unworthy metal fan, and they (perhaps unintentionally) start treating you, as a friend, thereafter as well.
So many people that, in the end, never could accept or let go of the fact that I liked other metal than just thrash or whatever. It became impossible to hang around basically all of them because they, after like a year, still would fucking nag like a bitch about it. I have never been able to take any of that fucking shit, so in the end they all could just piss off. It just so fucking stupid that metal fans should argue about this stuff like it's a kid's sandbox or something. Just because I don't personally like nu metal, I don't go around bashing all the fans of it. I respect peoples' tastes and opinions.
Just fucking listen to the music and have a good time, hopefully together!
